Assembling flatpack - simple doesn't mean easy.

Post date: Feb 14, 2011 10:25:22 PM

I like flat pack. It's fun. Over time I've found it's best not to look at the instructions too much --the given instructions only serve to confuse. Most are written in gibberish, in poor photocopy quality, and very often don't even relate to the actual article to assemble. For me, by far the best way forward is to look at the finished picture or exploded diagram and work it out from there.

What's even more fun is putting right a customers attempt at assembly.


Well, generally, the customer is just grateful that their treasured lumps of chipboard will finally be able to be used for the purpose they were bought for. I've seen highly articulate lawyers and doctors reduced to gibbering wrecks by wonky, ill fitting joints, torn out fastenings, and the sight of a dozen screws left over and no holes to put them in.

One of my customers had fled to Curacao (the island not the drink) (just off the coast of Venezuela, which is in the north east of South America, which is beneath Mexico, which borders onto the USA, which is over the other side of the big pond that is to the left of Lands End, which is along the coast from Eastbourne.

I don't know how many weekend warriors have succumbed to a life as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder invalids by the horrors of trying to assemble items from IKEA, MFI, and Argos. But I do know this.

I don't practice medicine (apart from the odd plaster)

and I don't practice law.

I know my limitations (which are precious few).

Why should a brain surgeon or barrister think they can follow instructions in chinswedeengrish without adequate training?

That's like me believing I can represent myself in court because I like to argue a point.

When my customer eventually comes back from the other side of the world he'll find his sideboard assembled and no one, not even his wife, will ever need to know that he didn't do it himself.

I love flat pack -- it's fun.

If you need help give me a call -- I won't tell anyone.:)

If you need help or advice on this or any other topic give me a call on 07930 335 937 or email me

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